Horses versus Men 6-5-15

1^st Broverbs 1:1 “Take heed my son, and pursue not the woman who loves the steed; lest thy life be full of feed and fencing and all thy resources vanish in the pursuit of pasture, barns and the need for the farrier and the veterinarian” (FNT)

            Time for another acronym – FNT means funny (at least in my own warped sense of humor), but not true. All my Navigator friends know there’s no book in scripture named “Broverbs” so please don’t take this literally. “Broverbs” did seem appropriate for a discussion between us guys and my ADD is pushing toward some others …. stay tuned. Well, let’s do one more:

1^st Broverbs 1:2 “Deliver not thyself into the hands of the dermatologist. Surely, embarrassment shall come upon thee and thy face shall gross out thy friend.” (FNT)

OK, back to the hosses. I suppose it’s just my lot in life to be in love with a woman who loves her horses more than me. In fact it seems I fall in rank behind not only the horses - but the kids, the dog, the cats, the house, the yard, the garden, etc., etc. She’s kinda like the Knights of Nee in The Holy Grail: “Bring me a shrubbery”.

My standard line is if Maxwell’s Silver Hammer came down upon my wife’s head and it split open; a horse would jump out. I thought about it a long time and decided I needed to communicate with her on a level she could understand. I sat her down for a serious talk and said “Sweetheart, you know how I get depressed sometimes thinking I don’t get enough of your attention. Well, I’ve thought long and hard about this and I’ve decided that I want you to treat me like one of the horses.” “What, huh – what do you mean by that”, she rejoined. (I knew I’d get her attention if I mentioned horses). “Well, just like the horses, everyday I need to be fed, groomed and ridden” I said.

Understanding brightened her entire appearance. “She got it” I thought. I was able to communicate in a way she could understand. Not that her understanding made a lot of difference in my lifestyle. Oh well, Abba didn’t say the life of a servant would be easy.

So anyway, my sister found a tee shirt one time that describes why a woman likes a horse better than a man. On it was listed the “Ten Reasons I’d Rather Dream About Horses” and they are:

1.      They’re tall and strong.

2.      They have lots of hair.
3.      They’re always there when you need them.
4.      They never watch cable.
5.      They’re well groomed.
6.      They know what “Whoa” means.
7.      They look good in leather.
8.      They smell good when they sweat.
9.      You’re always on top.
10.  The ride lasts longer than 5 minutes.

The truth is I kinda like horses (I do like golf better, but that’s a different subject). The movie Secretariat was great. I went back to YouTube and watched all the Triple Crown videos of Secretariat’s wins; it brings a tear to your eyes. The entire Country was pulling for Big Red and he had a unifying effect at a time when it was needed. If you watch closely, his jockey, Ron Turcotte, didn’t even use a whip; seems he was just hanging on for dear life. It was during his autopsy they found his heart to be twice the size of a normal horse. The movie had a great biblical quote at the end that came from Job. The entire passage is:

Job 39: 19-25 “¹⁹ Hast thou given the horse strength? Hast thou clothed his neck with thunder? ²⁰ Canst thou make him afraid as a grasshopper? The glory of his nostrils is terrible. ²¹ He paweth in the valley, and rejoiceth in his strength; he goeth on to meet the armed men. ²² He mocketh at fear, and is not dismayed; neither turneth he back from the sword. ²³ The quiver rattleth against him, the glittering spear and the shield. ²⁴ He swalloweth the ground with fierceness and rage; neither believeth he that it is the sound of the trumpet. ²⁵ He saith among the trumpets, Ha, ha; and he smelleth the battle afar off, the thunder of the captains and the shouting.”

 

Wondrous Abba,

Help us appreciate

the wonder of Your creation

and the beauty of animal life.

Grant Father

That our task of gardening

Be fruitful and that our

animals be properly cared for.

We desire this

to honor You

And the creation which

You have made.

And grant us Holy Father

That we may delight in service

Beginning in our own house

In Jesus name.